she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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