and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
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