I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize