p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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