We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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