I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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