I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize