he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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