...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize