So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
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The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
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Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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