Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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