two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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