he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
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Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
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It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
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