I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize