Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
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After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
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I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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