Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize