I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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