ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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