We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize