She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize