Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so that wasnt chicken after all
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize