I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
it was like eating out sand paper
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize