Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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