No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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