I cockslap morals
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize