Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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