11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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