I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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