I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
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Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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