he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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