my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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