Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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