True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
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i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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