I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
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You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
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How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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