I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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