I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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