i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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