thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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