Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
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All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
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I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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