Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize