So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
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i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
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Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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