I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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