I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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