If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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