i wish my penis had a tongue
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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