There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize