ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize