i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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