his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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