there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
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I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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